Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 17, 2010 12:05am-1:05am EDT

12:05 am
it's time for tonight's "closing argument." the federal government came down like a hammer today on goldman sachs, perhaps wall street's most powerful investment bank. the securities and exchange commission filed a lawsuit
12:06 am
accusing goldman of selling a mortgage investment without telling buyers the securities were with input from a client that was betting on them to fail. goldman called the accusations completely unfounded in law and fact and said it would, quote, vigorously contest them. tonight, we ask you, who do you believe, the sec or goldman sachs? tell us what you think by clicking on the "nightline" page at or or facebook, where you can become a fan of the show. that is our report for tonight. from all of us at abc news, good night, america, and have a great from all of us at abc news, good night, america, and have a great weekend. captions by vitac >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. here to tell you about what other people are saying about buick. take a look at the new issue of "motor trend" magazine. buick is back. with rave reviews for the lacrosse csx. the all-real drive regal gs.
12:07 am
look, they even make them in different colors. there's more. "consumers digest" says the buick lacrosse is a best buy. edmu says the buick lacrosse is a top recommended vehicle for 2010. "motor week" gave it the drives choice award for best luxury sedan. the car book named it the 2010 best bet. and even "dog fancy" magazine says buick is better than licking yourself. [ laughter ] wow. there you have it. the world agrees. buick is back. >> announcer: buick, the new class of world class. to see the full line of 2010 vehicles, go to everyone, listen up. i found the plane's radio equipment.
12:08 am
i think we can get off this island. everyone, listen up. i found the plane's beverage cart. and it's full of bud light. - here we go! - ( cheering ) ♪ we're gonna be okay, we're gonna be okay! it's the sure sign of a good time. the just right taste of bud light. here we go. whooo! the just right taste of bud light. here we go. vo: at the olive garden cooking school in tuscany, our chefs learn secrets of italian cooking. like how to blend four artisanal cheeses to create our new creamy fonduta sauce. in our new steak fonduta and grilled chicken fonduta. at olive garden. and those people are what i like to call wrong.
12:09 am
metamucil is the only leading fiber supplement with psyllium, which gels to help remove waste and reduce cholesterol. metamucil. ask more of your fiber. to finish what you started today. for the aches and sleeplessness in between, there's new motrin pm. no other medicine, not even advil pm, is more effective for pain and sleeplessness. new motrin pm. is more effective for pain and sleeplessness. hi. i'm dan hesse, ceo of sprint. we're so confident in the improvements we've made to our network, our phones, our plans, and to customer service that we're offering you this simple guarantee. join us, and if you're not completely happy with sprint within 30 days, we'll give you your money back. pretty simple, huh? [ male announcer ] the sprint free guarantee. learn more at ♪
12:10 am
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- martin lawrence. "science bob" pflugfelder. and music from jonathan tyler and the northern lights. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" and now, all hands on deck. here's jimmy kimmel! and now, all hands on deck. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. [ cheers and applause ]
12:11 am
>> jimmy: very nice, i appreciate it. i'm jimmy. as you probably guess, i'm the host of the show. thank you. hey, you know what? i did something today that i've never done before. i watched golf. have you ever done this? well, it's boring. there was no sex at all. all i've been hearing is sex, sex, sex. there was nothing. just a bunch of middle-aged white guys and one guilty looking black guy walking around. i'll never watch it again. i really won't. of course, i'm joshing. tiger woods returned to golf today. president obama and russian president medvedev signed the necessary documents and just like that, relations have been normalized, kind of. tiger's wife, elin, was not with him at the masters today. she was busy flying to haiti with a live chicken and a lock of tiger's hair.
12:12 am
[ laughter ] there was nothing to fear. the augusta national golf club where the masters are held is one of the few golf clubs that doesn't accept female members. that came in very handy for tiger today. [ laughter ] he finished tied for seventh, which is very good, i guess. all eyes were on him. he got a warm welcome from the crowd. he was very low key. he reminded me -- you know when you bring a dog home from the vet after it's been neutered? [ laughter ] here he is, tiger woods, with his dramatic return to the pga tour. >> golf world has anxiously been waiting for this moment. and here he is, tiger woods. stepping up to his first tournament shot in five months, since his stint in rehab, the sex scandal, lots of dirty and naughty ladies. and cute waitresses, strippers, hookers, short ones, fat ones. magician's assistants, elves, barmaids, glass blowers. the list just goes on and on. perfect shot.
12:13 am
right down the middle. boy, does this guy love sex. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you know what, it's -- [ cheers and applause ] it's going to take some people more time to get over the -- by the way, why do golf announcers always whisper? they are watching from a tower 100 yards away. [ laughter ] it's time to speak up. yesterday, tiger was honored by the golf writer's association. he got player of the year. it was the tenth time in 13 seasons he's won player of the year. but this year's care mean, well, because of the obvious circumstances, withes a little bit different. >> ladies and gentlemen, your playa of the year. >> just -- what a great day today. >> yeah, boy! [ applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. a lot of people have been talking today about tiger's new nike ad. have you seen the ad? they got some audio from a documentary about tiger where
12:14 am
his father, earl woods, who passed away in 2006, was speaking. and they put his voice under the image of a very somber-looking tiger. if you haven't seen it, check this out. >> tiger, i want to find out what your thinking was. i want to find out what your feelings are. and did you learn anything? >> jimmy: and buy nikes. [ laughter ] let me just explain what happened there. nike actually brought someone back from the dead to endorse their shoes. [ laughter ] i think we might have to have another easter hunt sunday, right? there's been a lot of negative reaction to that spot. people called it creepy, manipulative, and i don't know, i actually did a similar commercial a few years ago with my uncle frank after i had sex with 14 women and crashed into a tree. you remember that, uncle frank? >> i do, jim. >> jimmy: i thought that ad was
12:15 am
received pretty well. [ laughter ] >> jimmy, good, that's you, right, jim? this is your uncle frank, jimmy. good job, jim. good job. jimmy. i love you. and make sure you eat. >> jimmy: you know, he always -- [ applause ] he always believed in positive reinforcement. one thing is for sure. tiger woods' deceased father ad has already prompted a sharp spike in nike sales among the dead. they even made it into next week's episode of "lost." the air "locke." speaking of the dearly departed, i have a bone to pick with my own network. abc has a show called "castle." it's on monday night after "dancing with the stars." this monday night they have an episode on with tom bergeron, he plays a late-night talk show
12:16 am
host who gets killed by the host who's on after him. the 12:30 host kills the 11:30 host. it's kind of the opposite of jay and conan. but i have to wonder, why is my own network doing shows about any late night talk show host being killed? to me, that sends a bad message, right? you know what? let me tell you something. take that, "castle!" [ applause ] finish that off for me, guillermo? finish stomping that for me. please. i'm sorry, but the thought of being murdered makes me very -- [ applause ] you don't mess with us or our team. they wouldn't do this to oprah. that's all i'm saying. last night we had an interesting story. in tampa bay, there is a monkey on the loose. this monkey. they've been trying to catch it for almost a year, but they can't.
12:17 am
they've chased it, they shot it with tranquilizer darts. they tried to trap it with food. they can't -- it's an unstoppable monkey. the monkey now has a facebook page with -- for real -- 67,000 members. it must be a genius monkey. it's called the mystery monkey of tampa bay. and let's check in with the local tampa cbs news for tonight's monkey watch. >> and now the latest on monkey watch '10. there have been no new monkey sightings in the last week. >> no. [ applause ] >> jimmy: let's stay vigilant. here is another strange animal thing. this is a cat that has become popular on youtube. a lot of cats have been popular on youtube. but this one, as you can see, stands up on two legs like a person or an unstoppable monkey. and it goes -- it's almost like it's ready to fight. it's got a posture like a tough guy or something.
12:18 am
>> you have to ask yourself one question -- do i feel lucky? well, do you, punk? >> jimmy: you see, it's like a hairy little clint eastwood. try it with the accent. >> you [ bleep ] with me, you [ bleep ] with the best! >> jimmy: see that? you got to get him a little kitty machine gun to maybe kill the keyboard cat. [ applause ] bristol palin, the daughter of former alaska governor sarah palin, is continuing her campaign against teen pregnancy. it's funny she's telling kids not to get pregnant while her mom goes around yelling "drill baby drill," but she is. bristol was a pregnant teen herself. she named her baby tripp, with two ps, which is reason enough for teens not to have kids. today, she released this public service announcement with the candies foundation. >> what if i didn't come from a famous family? what if i didn't have all their
12:19 am
support? what if i didn't have all these opportunities? >> you are not the father! >> pause before you play. >> don't do this. >> jimmy: don't do this. powerful. powerful stuff. powerful ads these shoe companies are making lately. all right, it's thursday night, right? yes. it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." enjoy. >> what was it about the injuries that sent you to the hospital? can you tell us what your injuries were? >> yeah, i had a busted up lip and a pretty sore [ bleep ]. >> back now with tiger woods return to professional golf. woods [ bleep ] off in front of tens of thousands of anxious spectator. >> all i can say is donald trump [ bleep ] me last night and for
12:20 am
the first time in my life i like a guy who [ bleep ] me. >> there is a part where i grab onto his [ bleep ] and he spins me. i just want to be like wee. >> we were [ bleep ] a bunch of guys and we were really happy, and one of the great moments was to see nolan's face and he's, you know, he's got [ bleep ] coming out of his [ bleep ] and -- >> oh [ bleep ]. >> my senior year in high school, i did [ bleep ] the team. >> you were the team captain for the blue team. i almost [ bleep ] you. you remember that? glad i didn't. >> [ bleep ] you. >> what i do think they all feel is that prince william is a giant [ bleep ]. >> how did you [ bleep ] so many people for so long? >> you know, tom, i [ bleep ] myself. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's right, tom. we have a good show for you tonight. "science bob" pflugfelder is here to experiment on us. we have music tonight from jonathan tyler and the northern lights. and we'll be right back with martin lawrence.
12:21 am
so stay there.
12:22 am
anth ingredients infused with nature.
12:23 am
try honeysuckle and tea tree oil... or orange flower and cranberry... just two of three unique fragrance combinations in new degree natureffects. not too long ago, had a little brain wave, right here... on this treadmill. i said, "make my pc simpler." so i told microsoft. and before you know it, windows 7, and this snap feature. now i'm working on a couple of things at the same time... i put one to the left. snap. i put one to the right. snap. simpler. just like i said. i think i'm a genius. i'm going to walk away with my genius now. i'm a pc. windows 7 was my idea.
12:24 am
12:25 am
>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. and i believe we're ready to begin. hey, that's very kind. hey, i want to mention, not that every audience isn't special, but tonight's audience is even more special than usual. tonight, we have two of our nation's most outstanding college basketball players with us. from syracuse, we have wesley johnson and we got evan "the villain" turner with us. [ applause ] all dressed up. you're in town for the wooden awards? >> yes. >> jimmy: are you both entering the nba draft? has that been declared? >> yeah, i just declared yesterday. >> i'm undecided so far, so i'm just --
12:26 am
>> jimmy: let's decide right now. >> no, i can't do it right now. can't do it right now. >> jimmy: evan, you were the ap player of the year? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: congratulations. [ applause ] and you guys could be millionaires in, like, a couple of months, right? >> yep. >> yep. >> jimmy: and then you won't return our calls? congratulations. i'm going to say a prayer for you guys that neither of you ends up on the clippers, okay? good luck. we hope to see you again soon. we have a fun show planned tonight. we have a real-life science teacher, high school science teacher, from boston who sent us this video. >> first step, add some propellant. there we go. second step, cap. here we go. third step, fire. >> jimmy: "science bob" pflugfelder is here to blow us up tonight.
12:27 am
then later on, from dallas, texas, this is their debut cd, it's called "pardon me," jonathan tyler and the northern lights. next week on the show, zoe saldana, balthazar getty, david duchovny, christopher mintz-plasse, alyssa milano, nathan fillion, pamela anderson, music from them crooked vultures, gloriana and spoon so join us. our first guest is an exceptionally funny man. you know him from "bad boys," "wild hogs," and as a very fat momma in a house. his latest film with an all-star cast is called "death at a funeral," in theaters april 16th. please say hello to martin lawrence. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:28 am
>> jimmy: what's happening? [ applause ] >> i love that. >> jimmy: very preppy tonight, huh? >> yeah, i didn't prep too much. just throw on some jeans. i said, man, let me go hang out with jimmy and be comfortable. >> jimmy: you are almost dressed like tiger. i have to be honest. >> oh, whoa. >> jimmy: all you're missing is the sweater vest. >> poor tiger. >> jimmy: did you watch the golf today? >> i seen the highlights, man, but tiger -- i mean, i could see -- you know, it happens, one on the side, but 90? 90? man, i -- tiger mess it up for everybody. i can't -- i can't leave my house without showing my lady an itinerary. >> jimmy: is that right? >> i'm going to be at mcdonald's at 3:00. i'm going to get me a value pack and then -- >> jimmy: that's an excellent point. he really has messed things up for, like, celebrities. >> they don't trust us now. all women looking at us sideways. looking out the side their eye like this.
12:29 am
uh-huh. "you probably do what tiger do, don't you?" >> jimmy: but of course you would never do what tiger does, right? >> oh, no. no, not at all. >> jimmy: you're doing stand-up again. you haven't done that for how long? [ applause ] >> six years. >> jimmy: six years. >> it's been six years, and i just had 13 dates on the road, all sold out and people came out and showed me a lot of love, man. >> jimmy: that's got to be exciting, because you never know. when you stop doing it for a while. why did you start doing it again? it's certainly not for money. why -- >> i missed it. and i just loved that initial feedback, that right away, you know, you get when you make them laugh and the audience love what you giving them and i just love to give people what they, you know, what they want. with stand-up, i'm not edited. i talk about what i want, when i want, how i want. >> jimmy: are you talking about different things now? >> yeah, i'm talking about smoking weed. i'm talking about sex.
12:30 am
>> jimmy: oh, yeah, right. >> and i'm talking about getting in trouble. all three of those. >> jimmy: so, this is a whole different area for you. you talk about -- you talk about president obama at all? >> oh, yeah, i do a little thing on obama. i love obama. first black president. can you believe it? [ applause ] woo-woo. woo-woo. i like to see that everybody is happy we got a black president now because not everybody's happy. some white guys when they get drunk they be, "how in the hell did he get in?" "how did that black guy get in?" "somebody fell asleep at the wheel, man." >> jimmy: can i tell you something? i met a black guy who was not happy that he got in. >> what? >> jimmy: yeah, i almost -- i was so surprised. it seems like whatever your politics you'd be excited that something like this happened.
12:31 am
>> and he a cool president. >> jimmy: he is. >> obama be pimping when he gets off air force one. you know, he's black and white so people don't realize, obama is black and white. only time you see his white side is when he dancing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're right. >> the only time. >> jimmy: that's the worst time to see it. >> but he's cool, man. i know things have changed in the white house, because we keep it real and i know michelle done brought some burberry curtains up in there. i know they got a fubu rug in there. i know they drinking hennessey and singing "let's stay together" by al green. ♪ let's stay together [ applause ] >> jimmy: you turn what, 45 next week? >> 45, yes, next friday. >> jimmy: is there a big plan? you going to do anything? >> no, i'm just going to, you know, try to relax, enjoy with the family and just try to grow
12:32 am
older gracefully, you know? >> jimmy: were you a good kid? >> i like to think, but -- but i got a lot of ass whoopings. >> jimmy: you did? >> because i was a very hyper kid so i stayed in stuff. i was always getting in stuff and before you know it, the belt was, pop, pop, you got to learn to stop, get it together, get it together. i be crying, i'm sorry, i didn't know. >> jimmy: you think that helps? do you think the beatings help? >> most definitely. >> jimmy: they do? >> most definitely. i got a lot of beatings. look at me now. [ applause ] that's -- that's the problem with some of the young kids today. they don't get enough ass whoopings, man. that's the problem. [ applause ] i mean, they all rude. they don't speak. >> jimmy: i've never seen so many people cheering on the beating of children. [ applause ] amazing. [ cheers and applause ] >> well, they just keeping it
12:33 am
real. but what i'm saying is that -- what i'm saying is that when i came up, i know a lot of y'all out there, y'all, the mother, if you did something wrong, your mother, father, get, you know, get to that butt. we didn't have a problem. now, they want to -- go to time-out. you go sit in time-out and all you do is sit in time-out and think about the next trouble you're going to get in. that's all you do. >> jimmy: it's a planning area. >> planning area. >> jimmy: so, as a kid did you have, like -- who was your favorite teacher as a kid? >> oh, one of my favorite teachers was miss henderson. we call her froggy. she's the one who started me off on my way to comedy. she gave me a card to an open mic and said, you know what, you're so funny, go try it out. if you do well, this is what you should be doing. and she sent me on my way and i ask that y'all say a pray for her, because she fell ill. please say a prayer for her.
12:34 am
i love you, miss end ahenderson love you. >> jimmy: that's nice. so she encouraged you to go try it. >> yes. >> jimmy: when you went and tried it for the first time, when she encouraged you, how did it go? >> it didn't go well at all. man, i got on stage and i was so terrible. i remember the first time, i got up, as soon as i start talking, some drunk lady was in the front, she goes, "oh, god. not another j.j." >> jimmy: oh, no, really? >> and i didn't know how to respond. what did you say, lady? i started yelling and all that. i came off stage, my home boy, best friend, was on the floor crying, laughing and -- it was crazy. >> jimmy: laughing for the wrong reasons. >> but i knew this was something i wanted to do, so i just would go to the comedy clubs every weekend and study the headliners and watch how they were on stage and their rapport with the audience. and thank god i stuck with it, because y'all come out and see it. >> jimmy: no kidding. thanks to froggy. >> thanks to froggy.
12:35 am
>> jimmy: meanwhile, you're in this movie with a big all-star cast. you have chris rock, danny glover, tracy morgan. >> luke wilson. >> jimmy: luke wilson. yes, he was here last night. you guys, i would a sum, had a good time. >> yeah, good time. and, you know, tracy, you know, all you have to do is sit back and just let tracy be tracy and you got free entertainment on the set. >> jimmy: do you ever look at tracy and go, hey, you know what, i used to be tracy and now tracy is tracy for my entertainment. >> well, yeah, but you know, tracy got his start on the "martin" show. if anybody remembers that show. >> jimmy: i love tracy, he's -- he's a real character. did he -- was he like that when you first, when he was a kid when you put him on the show? >> yeah, he was. that's what made me want to put him on the show. he pulled the stomach out. and start patting stomach. i said, anybody that's going to pull their stomach out, a stomach like that, i said, you got to go on the show, man. >> jimmy: we have a clip from the movie.
12:36 am
this is you and chris rock. the movie is called "death at a funeral," opening april 16th. take a look. >> martina, could you excuse us? we really have to talk about something. hey, "spongebob" is on. talk to you later. >> what are you doing? >> remember the guy that came by a little earlier that we didn't recognize? >> dude in the leather jacket. >> yeah, well, he -- he came by to study and he showed me pictures of him and dad. >> so? what's wrong with that? >> pictures of him and dad together. >> no. no. no. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. the guy's name is frank. he showed me some pictures of him and dad doing stuff. >> you're telling me our father was on the down low? >> way down low. >> oh, hell no. i don't believe that. oh! daddy! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. it's called "death at a funeral." martin lawrence, everybody. we'll be right back with science bob! finally, what you love is what your skin needs.
12:37 am
experience new positively nourishing body washes from aveeno, the naturals brand dermatologists trust most. delightfully fragrant, truly moisturizing. that's positively nourishing. only from aveeno.
12:38 am
and i really want to wear this sleeveless dress. sometimes when i use deodorant right after i shave, i get the irritation; it's so distracting. i'm surprised it went on so comfortably.
12:39 am
it's very smooth. my underarms feel great. dove's proven unique formula with one quarter moisturizers... soothes underarm skin after shaving. i'm ready. now your underarms are ready when you are. dove ultimate beauty care.
12:40 am
>> jimmy: our next guest is an educator who will surprise, delight, and possibly endanger you. he's here tonight to share the wonders of chemistry and
12:41 am
physics. from boston, please welcome "science bob" pflugfelder. [ cheers and applause ] hello, science bob. thank you for coming. that's a good-looking jacket you have there. is that a tie-dye? can you buy that -- >> no, i actually made this. first and only thing i've ever tie-dyed. >> jimmy: it's a winner. >> thank you. >> jimmy: tell us what we're going to do here. i know you're a teacher. what grade do you teach? >> elementary level, which is somewhat unique. >> jimmy: and the kids go nuts? they like to see weird stuff? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: me, too. >> we don't sit and read a whole lot. >> jimmy: me either. that's exactly what i like, so that's why this is going to work out so well. what is your first experiment? is it really an experiment? >> no, it's a demonstration. >> jimmy: very good. >> all right, so we're going to basically break apart molecules. >> jimmy: good. >> we're going to use hydrogen peroxide but not what you get in the store.
12:42 am
hydrogen peroxide is actually h202. >> jimmy: you get a weaker version in the store? i used to intentionally cut myself to pour, so i could sizzle up my -- >> yeah, the stuff that we use will actually give you a chemical burn. >> jimmy: so don't use it? okay, all right. all right, so what do we do? >> we're going to get started. we start with a little bit of actually dish soap. so if you want to put some dish soap in your flask there. >> jimmy: how much? >> a little bit more. that's good. dish soap will keep the bubbles -- because we're going to remove the oxygen, they will hold the oxygen. i'm going to put that in here. next, coloring. we have green and red. do you have a preference? >> jimmy: i'll take the red. be very christmassy. how much of this? >> just keep going. that's good. little more. >> jimmy: this is going to be delicious. is this how you did your jacket? >> that's good there. >> jimmy: okay. >> all right, so i'm going to add the hydrogen peroxide
12:43 am
because you don't want to do this. >> jimmy: it's dangerous. >> get all geared up here. >> jimmy: okay, good. put these on my eyes? >> all right, so in goes that. >> jimmy: what's happening here? >> so here's what we're going to see. we're going to -- in order to remove the oxygen, we're going to use a catalyst. so we're going -- that's what's in here. sodium solution. we're going to pour that in and that is going to remove the oxygen. the soap is going to hold it and -- >> jimmy: we're going to smother to death. >> we'll be okay, but it will create a lot of bubbles really fast. >> jimmy: great. >> and usually this is done in graduated cylinders but we're going to make it a little more intense with these ridiculously large flasks. this is what you're going to use. pour that in there, the oxygen will be released and we're going to watch the reaction. we need to step back after we pour. >> jimmy: all right. >> ready, three, two, one. pour. there we go. >> jimmy: whoa!
12:44 am
wow, that's great! it's like "ghostbusters." wow. whoa. that's something. we got slime. whoa! that's going to be coming down for months, i have a feeling. wow. that's like the greatest zit ever popped. look at that thing, it's still going. whoa. and is this stuff dangerous now? >> it is actually mostly just oxygen and soapy water. >> jimmy: wow. so no. >> but i wouldn't touch it. >> jimmy: i won't. what else are we going to do? that was awesome. >> thank you. we're going to go actually a little bit smaller scale. this is one of these "try at home" experiments. this is a film canister, i have water in there, little bit. and we're going to add to that alka seltzer, which when you put it in water, releases gas. releases carbon dioxide. we're going to trap that gas,
12:45 am
let the pressure build up and then these will hopefully launch. >> jimmy: and potentially blow somebody's eye right out of their head. >> we have goggles. >> jimmy: good. >> you can hold these if you want, actually. >> jimmy: i will. yeah. i'll hold them. >> i'll drop these in, cap them and we'll put them in your hands and just wait for the pressure to build up. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> one, two. >> jimmy: somebody could be blinded by science with this, right? >> it's possible. hand out. other hand out. good. i'm going to just step back. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. and so what do i do, just stand here like an idiot? all right. >> pressure's building up now, the bubbles are being created. >> jimmy: i feel like jesus. whoa! wow! [ applause ] that's pretty cool. >> there you go.
12:46 am
>> jimmy: we're going to have to get homeland security to look into you. wow. that's something else. now, what else do we have here? >> i thought we'd do a little static electricity experiment. >> jimmy: where did you get this? >> some guy built it in his >> jimmy: it's safe then? >> yes. this is kind of like the sneaker in the carpet thing, except we have a big rubber belt instead of a sneaker and does it really fast. >> jimmy: powerful. >> i give you a little demo here. if we turn that on. crank it up a little bit. >> jimmy: a guy built this. and it's not a bong, right? >> no, absolutely not. >> jimmy: wow. and this will give me super powers if i do this? >> that i can't guarantee. but that's a lot of voltage. so we're going to have -- you try it out. but this is actually the thing that makes your hair stand up. we're going to try it different. step on this stool.
12:47 am
>> jimmy: all right. >> this will insulate you from the ground. >> jimmy: you sure? >> pretty sure. >> jimmy: looks like a 99 cent store item. all right. >> put your hand on here. >> jimmy: my grandma used one of these to go to the bathroom. all right. >> hand on there. and i'm going to put some pie pans on your head. >> jimmy: oh, good idea. [ applause ] why are there pie pans on my head? >> you'll find out. we're going to send 400,000 volts to top of this. >> you know what, go with 300,000. >> that's going to then go all over the outside of your body. spread to the pie pans. it's negative forces, so the pie pans create energy charges, they will repel each other. >> jimmy: and then what happens? >> then the pie hands might jump a little. >> jimmy: this is not going to cook my brain or anything, is it? >> i don't think so. ready? here we go.
12:48 am
powering it up. >> jimmy: okay. oh, it feels weird on my body. oh! i do feel my -- wow. like the world's worst strip tease. there they go. this is how -- this is how marie calendars makes their pot pies. >> we have a couple of ones staying behind. >> jimmy: the stragglers. wow! ow. they're very toxic right now. people are diving away. that was good. every hair on my body was standing at attention. yeah. wonderful. so invigorating. i've never felt more alive than i do right now. >> all right. teachers love mouse traps because they're a great lesson in potential and kinetic energy. potential is energy that could happen, and then kinetic energy is moving energy. if we set this mouse trap. there we go. i'm going to put a ping pong
12:49 am
ball on it. carefully. >> jimmy: mice love ping pong balls? >> it's a good demonstration. it's going to release energy. i'm going to drop this on there and we're going to see if we can get that ball to fly. here we go. ready and -- there it goes. that's a good 30 feet. >> jimmy: that was a crappy trick, by the way. that's nothing like the foam or anything. we should have started with that, probably. >> well, we got the idea, that's a lot of energy in one mouse trap. but what if we picked it up just a little bit and tried it with a couple -- >> jimmy: 10 million? mouse traps? >> well, let's start with over 100. >> jimmy: that's beautiful. there it is. amazing prop department here. >> jimmy: yeah, boy, they must hate you right now. that's incredible. >> we're going to trip this by just throwing some ping-pong balls in, see how many it takes to start it and see if they can release energy.
12:50 am
>> jimmy: throw them all at once or individually? >> start with one and go from there. it's actually a model for newton's third law, a model for how fission works -- >> jimmy: nothing happened. >> you have to lob. let me lob. >> oh! >> jimmy: wow! that's pretty great! that's incredible. see more experiments from science bob at our website and at science bob's website, as well. thank you, science bob. we'll be right back.
12:51 am
[ ryan ] ahh! fresh. minty. ready! ♪ hi. oooh, minty. [ sniffs ] so what do you think? fresh. [ female announcer ] for a fresh breath feeling that lasts up to 5 times longer, there's new scope outlast. - knock, knock. - who's there? interrupting cheese. interrupt-- - cheese! - i should have seen that one coming. you should've, 'cause that was-- i even told you i was gonna be interrupting you. ( snickering, laughing )
12:52 am
morning sir. beautiful day, isn't it? we take the time for our cheese to mature... before we bake it into every delicious cracker. [ male announcer ] applebee's new nder 550 calories menu. it's all the tastes " and none of the trade-offs. that's under 550 calories? [ male announcer ] and it's another reason why there's no place like the neighborhood. now open until midnight or later.
12:53 am
12:54 am
>> announcer: if you're going to be in the l.a. area and you want to attend a taping of "jimmy kimmel live" call 866-jimmy
12:55 am
t-tix or visit [ female announcer ] olay regenerist is on a roll. new anti-aging eye roller. reduces puffiness immediately -- and also helps with lines and wrinkles. not surgery. this is our way to do your eyes. new regenerist anti-aging eye roller. so how come i still feel depressed? [ male announcer ] approximately 2 out of 3 people being treated for depression still have unresolved symptoms. talk to your doctor.
12:56 am
if an antidepressant alone isn't enough, one option your doctor may consider is adding abilify. abilify treats depression in adults when added to an antidepressant. some people had symptom improvement as early as 1 to 2 weeks after adding abilify. abilify is not for everyone. call your doctor if your depression worsens or you have unusual changes in behavior, or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. elderly dementia patients taking abilify have an increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor if you have high fever, stiff muscles and confusion to address a possible life-threatening condition. or if you have uncontrollable muscle movements, as these could become permanent. high blood sugar has been reported with abilify and medicines like it. in some cases, extreme high blood sugar can lead to coma or death. other risks include decreases in white blood cells, which can be serious, dizziness upon standing, seizures, trouble swallowing, and impaired judgment or motor skills. adding abilify has made a difference for me. [ male announcer ] talk to your doctor
12:57 am
about the risks and benefits of adding abilify. [ male announcer ] talk to your doctor [whistles] taxi! come on. announcer: dr. scholl's massaging gel insoles with two different gels for softness and support are outrageously comfortable. i'd rather walk anyway. announcer: are you gellin'? dr. scholl's.
12:58 am
12:59 am
>> jimmy: this is their debut cd, called "pardon me." it comes out april 27th. here with the title track, jonathan tyler and the northern lights. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hey can you hear me can you feel me coming through your stereo ♪ ♪ like a blinding flash of lighting
1:00 am
here to satisfy your soul ♪ ♪ that's right maybe it's been too long since rock 'n' roll turned you on ♪ ♪ so pardon me won't you pardon me just let it set you free ♪ ♪ baby if you don't mind let it take you on a ride ♪ ♪ beyond you pardon me the sound can open ♪ ♪ your soul might make you feel a bit stoned yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ maybe it's been too long since rock 'n' roll ♪ ♪ turned you on so pardon me ♪
1:01 am
♪ won't you pardon me just let it set you free baby if you don't mind let it take you on a ride won't you pardon me ♪ ♪ just let it set you free ♪ let it take you on a ride ♪ won't you pardon me ♪ ♪
1:02 am
♪ ♪ you got to let it turn you on ♪ ♪ you got to let it turn you on ♪ ♪ you got to let it turn you on ♪ ♪ it's just rock and roll ♪ ♪ but you got to let it turn you on ♪ ♪ ♪
1:03 am
[ male announcer ] why settle for cable? switch to fios for game-changing entertainment. now is the time to get fios tv along with internet and phone. for a limited time lock in a super low price of $69.99 a month for the first 6 months. see the difference a 100% fiber optic network makes. get amazing hd... top rated internet...and phone. all for just $69.99 a month for the first six months. don't wait -- this offer won't last. call 1-888-get-fios now. this is beyond cable. this is fios. call the verizon center for customers with disabilities at 800-974-6006 tty/v.
1:04 am


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on